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to.drown.a.rose

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[
Posted on August 09, 2006 @ 1:59 am
]
We all have friends who have things we envy - and not necessarily materialistic. So leave a comment saying what you find envious about me, then repost in your journal so I can say what I find envious about you!
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[
Posted on July 24, 2006 @ 3:38 am
]
I haven't updated in a while, and im not going to right now. Not properly anyway.

I just want to say my new glasses are not "pornesque".

And... I'm glad that they miss me.

Time to sleep.
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[
Posted on June 15, 2006 @ 11:28 pm
]
I want to stop talking about leaving.. and just leave... im so bored here.
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Requested by Ilse the Wonderbra. [
Posted on May 31, 2006 @ 9:01 pm
]
I'd like to start by saying i do not and have not intentionally neglected my friends.

Also, if you're looking at my new layout.. Ilse... whom i adore... well i'm meant to say here that she picked it... but she did

So, Ilse's moving in a couple of weeks... I feel i need to go a little "interior decorator" well i don't need to but i sure do want to. It's been ages since i've lived that dream of wanting to be an interior designer.. i moved on... quickly.

If it were up to me, i'd be designing feature walls and pasting murals and memories on every inch of wall and possibly even the floor. I feel she wouldn't let me do that. But somehow i will make her remember me everyday while i'm away. She'll have to remember me in everything she sees, although.... Remembering me while in bed or in the loo could be just a little too weird and creepy even for us.  So i'll have to be content on printing maybe just every photo we've taken together and plastering it in the appropriate places.

While Ilse moves to that unchartered land, Cheryl and I will remain here... stuck in what seems to be a rut. Hoping that our chance to move on will come soon... and chez, i have faith that before we know it we will all be studying in order to fill our dreams and our time. I'm going to make me a little scrapbook to take to england with me so that when i'm homesick i'll flick through it and remember life here. Not that i need to say i'll ever forget you....

I shouldn't need to be writing this blog to let you both know how important i am, but i suppose from our lack of seeing eachother i do need to reiterate how much i love you.

I'd love to stay and reinforce why i love u both so much.. but i've got to go and shower.

Au Revoir.

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.
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[
Posted on May 31, 2006 @ 7:35 pm
]
So, i just thought i'd blog cause i haven't in awhile....i hardly bother to be honest.

Tomorrow is our business exam, and i'm not to sure how i feel about it. I don't really need any of these grades to get into either university but i don't really want to walk out of GIS with an E or U in anything. I think a B would be a little too much to ask for, so a C would be perfect. Considering that i've been gradually studying and not being able to recall anything is really making me panic. I never study and when i do i panic. What complete utter bullcrap is that!

I went to the gym today cause i was so frustrated and i worked out for two hours. Now i feel awake but still panicking. So my body is less tense but mind still boggling away like nobody's business.

So let me tell you about my week.

My parents have been the catalyst too many bad events, but then....there's nothing new there. My brother is here and his girlfriend and i don't feel like a third wheel cause she's amazingly cool. She really wants to take me shopping for grad stuff and yay for her. i like her. We went shopping and touristy stuff, unfortunately due to ms.beasley being an ass, they're going to miss my exhibition cause she said i was going to be on the 2nd not the 1st. So they're away.*Yes, notice out of the slight pissyness, i've ignored the rule of having names in capital* today... right now... she doesnt deserve it. *oooooo i'm harsh*

I've also found that malaysian newspapers talk so much crap. They think the world is going to be attacked by a group of people that meet in Forums... so they're aim is too block all forums. It's just as likely that they're going to be attacked by people sending letters, what are they going to do ban communication? They've already banned free speech. So why not ban communication, god forbid people disagreeing with the government and having opposing views.. they must be killed... Everyone must love our relative politcians... we must all conform... we must not think.. we should let the bourgeoisie control the world. if i disappear, it means the thought police were reading this and have come to erase my existance in the middle of the night.

Oh yea, i got onto that cause in the newspaper there was an article about terrorists meeting online or something and the malaysian government wants to ban some certain things on the net etc etc. Psh. Get a life. Maybe they should be thinking about the trees that they're destroying and the traditions and kampungs they're eradicating.  Wow, i'm really going all out tonight on this whole, "this country is being destroyed" thing. Globalisation can be such a bitch.

So that's quite depressing that they're almost building buildings upon buildings!
Too be honest, i can't wait to just be somewhere else, not that i don't love you all here.. i don't need to reiterate these points. But i think maybe if i go to back to Europe, i'll appreciate things much more here. I'll still be pissed off at them for ripping everything down but at least i won't be so antsy to leave here so much.

I've completely digressed from my week.  I did all this family bonding stuff... and then i realised... Bollocks!!! My exams in two days. So today i made a vain attempt to study... which didnt work. But i did see a family friend's husband with another woman. Tsk tsk tsk.

Are there any marriages that outlast the claws on "the other woman" or for that instance "the other man'?

I hope i don't fall into this cycle of being a woman who's husband cheats on her. But that my friends is another blog...

I really should be working more.

Moving on is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard.
 


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[
Posted on May 17, 2006 @ 9:59 am
]
[ mood | awake ]

So its 10:00am.

*yawns*

I've been up since 8 while i made a pathetic attempt to read Wide Sargasso Sea until 2. So i got all dressed up and reasonably smart looking for this meeting, cause you know he was going to give me the offer letter and take a picture for my files. So i call him and he's

"Yes, You may attend you're meeting at 9am"

*er.. thanks?*

"It has been wonderful talking to you, i shall meet with you at 9am"

*Yea i got that already*
"Do i need anything?"

"You need to bring that bubbly personality and pretty smile"

*okay with your pretentious british accent....thats creepy*

"Uh huh, see you soon"

So i spend ages battling through work traffic and i get there only to be told....

"I'm sorry, I have a meeting at 9am, we'll have to reschedule"

SERIOUSLY!?

So the saying "Dressed up with no where to go" seems unfortunately fitting.

Now i'm procrastinating.. Once again. Wishing that i had a fellow procrastinator who is awake this early.

Oh god. Attack of the Rich Cousin. SAAAAAVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Unless of course she gives me lots of monies, then you can bugger off ;)

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[
Posted on May 05, 2006 @ 6:19 pm
]
I'd also like to add that I've started to have my recurring dreams of being attacked and chased... Again.

I really should see someone about these dreams.
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[
Posted on March 20, 2006 @ 9:05 pm
]

So, I'm thinking....

 

I should procrastinate much, much less.

 

It's not going to happen.

 

SO this week is all about Art. I'm actually, surprisingly sick of art. To think that I want my entire life to revolve around it is actually scaring the crap out of me. I have never been so frustrated, perhaps it’s the fact that Ms. Beasley would rather mull over Su Ann’s incorrect compositional sketches then my work which needs a lot of help working out what is going to go on top of what. Ah. Fuck.

 

It feels as though there is so much spinning around in my head. I must admit I’m coping with the stress extremely well, I’m actually happy…either that or I’m in COMPLETE denial that I have about a million and one things to get completed by Friday! Muahaha. I think its pretty safe to say, that if LCC or Bristol don’t accept me to their foundation courses, I’m screwed.

 

So I basically hang out with the guys now. I’ve never been so used to having to eat my meals surrounded by conversations involving weird sex acts and say, bowel movements. Just. Great. It eventually grosses me out, but by then I’ve managed to shovel down a large majority of the meal or I’m getting full. Either way… it would be nice to have some friends, that are girls… that can either come out some more or that aren’t trying to getting into every..... male’s....... pants.........

 

All the girls seem to playing Bold and Beautiful or something, well not all and you know who are you are. Some seem to think that their lives are the worst  and their problems are so bad and blah blah blah! Gosh! I’m not saying that I’m not there for people when they need and all, but don’t compete with me over whose life is the worst. COME ON. And… please don’t lie to me. It fucks with my head. I like to trust people… I also like to be happy and I don’t like stressing over things that don’t need to be stressed over…. Even if they are meant to stressed over. I’d like to spend as little time as possible stressing.

 

STOP STRESSING, as per normal I go with… If you can’t change it, get over it.

 

But I’m pretty happy with my friends, excluding the high school drama’s about choosing one friend over the other… I’m just trying to be happy and trying to share that… I want to be a social butterfly? Argh. I dunno. Enough.

 

Life can be such a bitch, but it would be really boring it wasn’t.

I love those people that stick by me... and really know me. I truly love u (:

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[
Posted on March 15, 2006 @ 8:26 pm
]
A. This song is so cute.
B. I'm happy, just so happy, so i may be completely fucked with my art exams, and I AM going to flunk my mocks.... i think everythings going to be alright.

I think so.
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[
Posted on March 14, 2006 @ 9:37 pm
]
Today i realised.. as a cliche...

I'm not in love with you.. and i never was..

I was in love with the idea of loving you :)
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[
Posted on March 12, 2006 @ 3:35 am
]
Reminder to myself:

Who you've known longer.

Who you trust more.

I'm slightly intoxicated.. but the shit im hearing from them.. i trust cause i feel its right.. you.... i don't.

Not so much
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[
Posted on March 10, 2006 @ 12:34 am
]
I never mention enough how much i love my friends...

I love a few MUCH MUCH more then others... you know who you are....

But i love them nevertheless....

Its all going to fall apart in a few months....
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I haven't blogged in forever... but this is worth it! [
Posted on March 10, 2006 @ 12:29 am
]
In reference to this...


http://betternaked.livejournal.com/3098.html



Sy-- { ...nous ruinera-t-il...} says:
awwwi thnk u just made me tear/cry
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
really?
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
awww don't cry
--Sy-- { ...nous ruinera-t-il...} says:
omg.. i thought thats what u were going to say
--Sy-- { ...nous ruinera-t-il...} says:
awww u noe, no matter what, no matter who i hang out with.. ur always my cheryl
--Sy-- { ...nous ruinera-t-il...} says:
and im always here for u
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:

--Sy-- { ...nous ruinera-t-il...} says:
always
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
and you're my suyin and i'll always be here
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
you know that
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
its safe to say that i'll always love you
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
in a non-i wanna marry you way
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
...wait a second
--Sy-- { ...nous ruinera-t-il...} says:
its safe to say i'll always love u.. in a PLATONIC WAY
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
MARRY ME
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
haha
--Sy-- { ...nous ruinera-t-il...} says:
hahaha
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
NEVER LEAVE ME SUYIN
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
ahaha
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
marry me
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
i bake cookies
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
not good ones
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
but i try
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:

--Sy-- { ...nous ruinera-t-il...} says:
hahahaha
--Sy-- { ...nous ruinera-t-il...} says:
i love u chezzy
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
haha love you too
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
but you know that already
--Sy-- { ...nous ruinera-t-il...} says:
we;ve already see im very very bad at hating u lol
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
ditto
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
i have never hated you
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
you know that/
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
even when you are "mothering" me
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
or even when you're being a spaz
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
which is hardly ever
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
you're like the only one who understands that when i say something straightforward and stupid
the other chai "I'm not your star" says:
i mean it in the most innocent way possible


in refer
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[
Posted on February 05, 2006 @ 5:59 pm
]

Myspace: The Movie.
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[
Posted on February 05, 2006 @ 12:03 am
]
I've never been so pathetically frustrated in my entire life as i feel right now...

This is going to be extremely whiny and i'm ashamed of it but i really don't have much choice.. so if reading this is going to change ur opinion of me DON'T READ IT.

I think my parents might divorce or seperate or something...

I'm sick of relationships but i'm sick of not having ones that work..

I'm frustrated that i'm in this country...

And i don't have anyone to call.. or anyone to tlk too... i don't have my phone... and i don't have anyone to call anyway.
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[
Posted on January 17, 2006 @ 10:05 pm
]
Today... I Shall Write In orange...

.end.
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[
Posted on January 14, 2006 @ 3:10 pm
]
Googlism For : Preston
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[
Posted on January 14, 2006 @ 3:09 pm
]
Googlism For : Tara
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[
Posted on January 14, 2006 @ 3:06 pm
]
Googlism For : Tara
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[
Posted on January 13, 2006 @ 11:38 pm
]
Must burn my canvas.
Painting is burning my eyes.
EYE SORE EYE SORE.

Art is stressing me out.
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